Wednesday, October 8, 2008

Friendship: A State of Mind?

Throughout my career both as an editorial assistant and virtual assistant, I have had created many email accounts. Revisiting one of my earliest from high school days, I had to empty the bulk folder with hundreds of spam emails and sift through more than a hundred Inbox emails. Saw a WAYN invitation from Aina. Got to the site, registered, got myself some contacts and then I got to the page where you'd have to say something about your friend. And that would be the person who invited me.

Doing this just got me so emotional I had to put it here.

"The best thing about Aina? Probably everything... that's why most every friend she meets calls her 'bestfriend'. One day, I heard her call me 'her bestfriend' I think that was the time when she was introducing me to this guy she liked. Just made a joke about it. I never thought she thinks that way about me."

And throughout highschool, well after my first year rather, I found it childish.

"Well doesn't matter now. I do miss her. And I hate it that I care too much.

Lately I've been wondering where my pride has gone.
Though she shuns me off every chance she gets, I still text and call her.

It was just lately that I realized how 'really' pathetic I was getting. Another issue with another friend or other friends, rather, got me thinking.. thinking hard.

Do I have to beg you to let me help? I am overdoing it. I've put myself in a wretched situation.

I've always prided myself of being a good friend. But this probably just falls among my childhood frustrations.

Friendship has been something that I deeply treasure.

Now, when I think about it, I think about romantic love..

It probably is just a state of mind."

And now that I've started this, I might just as well pour my heart out.

If you read all the way down to the Muziklaban. You'd know that something happened. But it doesn't freakin' matter. Rachelle is still "blinded-by-love" or is just content with playing prey to manipulations. And Lorenz has not been the good ol' Loi that she has been since that night.

Well, hell... it does matter. (to me, maybe not to them..)

I have always thought that having few "true" friends was best.

I sure have learned a lot and only time will tell.

What I should do is stop caring, and soon I'll stop hurting.

And the big question is "Will I ever learn to stop caring?"

As the song goes, "Love Hurts"..

And I shan't Love? Imposible!

I'll just cross the bridge when I get there?


  1. thisisGod'sdaughter said...
    nice one, weng..i love reading your posts.

    with friendships, i try not to be so "attached" because i expect too much and eradicated expectations just hurt me. hehehe.

    your entry just gave me a thought about how i handle not sure though if i am a good friend. oh well..

    Aweng Moral-Basco said...
    Salamat ric.

    Nagreply pa q.. Hehehe..

    You are a good friend. If not, nobody would have cared... about you, about your whereabouts.. unsa pa.


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